Social media experience is NOT A THING/My new dentist sucks

Been applying like a mug to get wife a permanent gig. This contract work at my place of biz wasn't going to last forever. In the past week, we've sent out 30 or so apps, contacted two placement firms that are talking to wife, and I did some LinkedIn networking like a mug and got another person in a local business communication group I belong to to take a look at wife for a social media position at their company.

Now, social media is like the baby of a species you have never seen before. No parents. You don't know how to deal with it. And it's only a couple years old. Some people get lucky and have successes, but when other people try to repeat that success, it's just white noise.

What works in social media is new, interesting things. No matter how many experts you wrangle, or examples you bring in, that's the bottom line. You just have to keep throwing out new things and hoping something will stick.

But, this potential employer wanted someone with a few years of professional social media experience. THAT IS NOT A THING. The damn concept was unknown a few years ago. Companies did social media, but not many, and not to the extent they do very recently, and certainly not as a full time gig. So I want to ask this person what the fuck, but can't cause there still might be a position at that company down the road that will work. We're meeting her for coffee maybe in the future, so perhaps I'll get to ask this question.

Secondly, I had three fucking cavities filled this week. We used to go to this dude in Fargo for our dental needs, and he was AWESOME. Only dentist wife has ever liked. I agree. He made dental work seem easy.

So I was somewhat relieved to find out the dentist we chose here had gone to school with him.

Wife got a cavity filled on Tuesday. She moaned and complained that it was a lot worse than before. I scoffed. "Dentistry gets better every year."

Then I went in last night, and had three fucking cavities filled. And oh my GOD it was like being waterboarded. the stupid drill was shooting water down my throat so I couldn't breathe. The dentist was like, try to breathe through your nose (with my mouth open,which I have NEVER understood as advice. Am I just weird or is it impossible to breathe through your nose with your mouth open?) Then she left after filling one and drilling the other two so she could check on another patient.

I welcomed the chance to breathe. but my tongue started to explore the drilled teeth and holy shit do they just strip mine mouths now? I felt like the entirety of my tooth was gone except a couple peaks around the edges.

Then she mentioned possible root canals in the future and I'm OLD I"M SO OLD JESUS FUCK.

Anyway, here's a better blog about dentists. Enjoy.

Off my meds. Feeling OK.

Part of being on antidepressants is the kooky thing where when you have been taking them long enough, you think you don’t need them. You feel fine. Which is what you took them for in the first place.

I don’t always feel that way, but I am a guy, so sometimes I just plain forget to take them. I put the pills by the sink in the bathroom, in the kitchen, or anywhere else I am sure to be in the mornings, but invariably, they become part of the background decoration of that area of the apartment and I just look right through them and don’t remember to take them. Then the next day, I’ll be freaking out about something, or feeling panicked or shitty, and then it occurs to me that I forgot my pills.

I had that happen again three weeks ago, however, I didn’t notice missing my pill for four days. And by then, it wasn’t because I was panicking. I just noticed I didn’t remember taking a pill for several days.

I had started to take the pills back in Fargo, when I was trying to help fiancé find work in the area while keeping going at a job I no longer found challenging or fulfilling. I had started to skid down the sadness road. I thought about death a lot, not like suicide, but  just a sort of thinking about death a lot way. It’s just easier to think about death than a job you don’t like, a family that doesn’t support you or your fiancé, a job market that is insane, and a world that thinks so little of everything you do.

Yeah, so I got some pills. They helped. I didn’t think about death quite so much. But things were still shitty beyond reckoning. By this point, we’d moved to the cities, wife had a job but not me, I had cut off my family because they didn’t support my wife and any attempts to explain my feelings about the situation were met with a general statement about how it was all in my head. To be frank, I haven’t tried speaking to them since March and life has gotten a lot easier without them. They’ve tried to get in touch 3 times since then by email. The last one had the sentiment “We miss you and will welcome you back whenever you are ready” which is nice, but again asks me to accept all blame and that I’m nuts and that they did nothing wrong. Also, wife sent a lengthy response in May or June about what they could do to make things right, but they haven’t taken us up on it.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I accidentally quit taking my pills, and by the time I noticed, I also noticed that I was OK.

Part of this, I think, is the general state of life affairs right now. I’ve got a job I love, I get to work with Wife and have lunch with her, I don’t have to deal with my family, and wife is out of her own hell hole of a job at Hennepin Technical College. Things are going well.

They could always be better. Wife is now applying to job after job and going through the same mindfuck I was going through in my job hunt: mostly that you can take two hours out of your day to go visit with an interviewer, send a thank you, send a follow up a week later, and still never get the common courtesy of a thank you for applying call or even a note to say they went with someone else. I go balls out and want to send a snide letter, but wife still thinks it may be possible to be hired after three weeks of hearing nothing and doesn’t want to send anything even slightly aggressive. I talk a big game, though. A few weeks ago, against my better judgement and at wife’s request, I reached out to the mnartists.org editor to see if she was interested in another piece from me. Though she can’t explain what she wants, and the pieces she publishes are far less professional than she seems to think they are when my own pieces weren’t meeting some professional standard she said she had, she seemed to think that it was me who couldn’t meet her expectations. Rather than get snipy, I just let it go and wrote a piece for the blog that I still haven’t had time to retool for pitching to other publications.

Then I watch shows like New Girl, a show I like, but last episode the main character is trying to get a job, is sitting in a waiting room with 5 other applicants, which NEVER happens and if it did you should run away since they don’t know how to stagger schedules so people aren’t waiting for hours. She breaks down and cries during her interview, freaking out the interviewer. Later in the episode, she goes back and interviews again. We are meant to believe that this attitude got her the job. BULLSHIT. There were five other perfectly reasonable people in that waiting room who probably didn’t break down and cry during their interview, and you’re telling me she got it over them? I hate America. Still like that show though.

Another thing along those lines is movies about mental illness. Everyone gets cured through sheer force of will. How fucking American, right? If “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” has it right, all we need to get through crippling depression is to spend a week in a ward, and all our problems will be magically solved.

So anyway, I have been off my meds for three weeks now, and I’m doing OK. It’s weird to get emotional over things now. Songs can get me misty if they hit me at the right time. I wept through the last half hour of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, which is a really awesomely good movie, but probably not worthy of a good cry. This is painting me as a crying conundrum, but it really isn’t that often, and it’s during genuinely emotional things and not over seeing something like a puppy in a teacup. I’m enjoying these new emotions and the catharsis they bring rather than not feeling or bottling to boil over later.

Not sure if I will continue to try life without meds, or if I will go back on them. Wife is in my corner either way, so that’s nice. 

Things sticking in my craw lately

If you are going to have me fill out a job form that takes 2 hours to give you the exact same information that's on my resume and cover letter, please don't be a dick and send a form rejection letter.

I should not get antibiotics right away for an ear infection and then watch as my wife is told she has to wait a week to get antibiotics for an illness she got from me.  Watching her suffer for a week while I got better was horrible. Then she finally got a prescription on the THIRD visit to the doctor.

I got a call from a job that I did a phone interview for two weeks ago. They were going ahead with other people, but it was certainly nice to have a human being call to let me know. I appreciated that.

One of my wife's friends is helping me with my query letter, which is absolutely wonderful since he used to be in the agent business. He's also forwarded my name to contacts that might need some freelance work done from time to time. He is now my hero. 

While I will not use my name in this blog, since people who hire in this day and age do searches, and this is not a professional outlet that I want to advertise myself, I did get a thing published today by Walker Blogs. They were looking for writers of 300-word quickies called viewfinders. Wife encouraged me to send one in about a piece we saw last month at the Walker. The few readers of this blog will find out who I am, but I'm OK with that as long as you don't use my name in this space. The nice thing is that it will lead to some freelancing work so I can write about art events in the cities that wife drags me to.   

So between the contract editing work and this Walker thing, I might actually have some money trickling in. Not enough to live on, but I like that both things are doable even after I get a full time job. Once that happens, these part time things can go entirely to paying off debts and bills that have piled up during unemployment. It's just getting that full time job that's eluding me.

Our house is in the middle of selling. So that's nice!  I stopped paying for it in November, and I won't see any money whatsoever from the sale, but I think once it's done, it will be off the plate of worries I've had resting on my shoulders.

Wife is feeling the pressure of keeping things afloat by working full time while I struggle along looking for a full time job myself. It's a daily struggle. Tears. Stomach pits. IBS. Judging by the shit that's coming out of me now, by the time I'm in a home, I will be a nursing assistant's worst nightmare. (I said this wasn't professional. You were warned.) I love my wife and wish I could pull through soon to just get us both on some kind of solid ground. Once that happens, Watch Out Twin Cities.

I wrote this while in my boxers

So week three of the temp job is going along nicely. It’s late tonight, and I haven’t blogged in a while. Wife is sleeping, dreaming poorly if history is any indication. Lots of things going on, and I don’t know how to organize it all into a coherent blog from the heart.

Temping. I have to say that I have truly enjoyed the mind-numbing trudgery that is my temp job for the past 2 and a half weeks. Mostly, I spend my days cutting and pasting from one document to another. Sometimes, I go in and fix html code. Sometimes, I create excel documents on what information is missing. Sometimes, I read over pages and pages of numbers to make sure that they are all correct. But, I’m getting paid for the first time in a long time, and that’s nice. I got to work overtime last week by going in Saturday. Time and a half kicks ass.

Not to complain about getting hung with a new rope, but it hasn’t made hunting for a permanent position easier. I now spend my few hours not working and not trying to tackle the laundry or keeping connected with the wife by applying to jobs. I’m still up for a couple, that said they would call two weeks ago. I send emails every 6 days to see if they are progressing. Nothing.

On Thursday, I went in for an interview at Sears. The internet link led me to believe it was the first of two such interviews, but I was hired after 20 minutes. For $6 an hour plus commission.

I’ve never been a proud person. I’ve worked shit jobs for shit pay and had no problem doing it. I lived for 2 and a half years in a 2 room apartment that had a bathroom in the main hallway, and with no shower where I had to sit in a tub and pour water on my head with a bucket because the tub was too small. I’m pretty sure my neighbor was cooking meth every night too.

But there was no mention of benefits. There was almost an expectation on the interviewers part that I would say no. “Do you have any problems with what I’ve said so far?” was a common question.  Then I was told to get a drug test in the next two days, regardless of what my availability was. The drug testing place was only open 9-4, and on the other end of the metro area. I already had work scheduled for the temp job where I get more than twice what I would earn at Sears.

So now came one of those moments. Those decisions that will haunt you no matter which way you choose.

Left: a soul-sucking job that I woudn’t enjoy, that wouldn’t help with the bills that have already piled up, that would be a large step backward, keep me away from the wife, and horrible to be around when I was with her, and my job hunt would be curtailed for who knows how long.

Right: A soul-sucking joblessness that continues to eat what little remains of my self esteem and self worth. Temp work that isn’t reliable.

A long weekend and lots of soul searching and conversations led us to me not going in for the drug testing. I have an interview Friday to do a similar job to the caretaking thing I did for 8 months after grad school – watching people with disabilities to make sure they are OK. I didn’t mind the work then, and would be happy to do it again. It also pays a shitton better, if not as well as I got in Fargo.

Here’s what keeps me going, in all the darkness. I just need a yes.

One yes.

I’ve been asking for that yes for six months now. And wading through rejection after rejection.

But One. Just one and both wife and I will have full time jobs for the first time in our relationship. We dream of paying bills when they come in the mail, instead of waiting until the last possible day. It’s a small dream, but its ours.

One yes and we will be able to finally take part in some of the events that the Twin Cities has to offer.

One yes, and we can start the long road of recovery back to not having to raid the change jar to pay for gas to get to an interview. To not having to craigslist items to get by for another week.

One yes and our world changes.

That’s what I hang on to. 

The incredibly demeaning, pointless, soul sucking mindfuck that is job hunting

So it's been about 6 months now of job hunting. 250 jobs applied to, 2 job fairs, 2 networking events, and about 30 phone and in person interviews. That's 1 out of every ten applications that gets an interview. When you figure that most jobs have 90-200 applicants, I think those are pretty good numbers, yet I still have not converted into a job. The frustration is aggravating, demoralizing, and highly depressing. I've been sooooo close, and usually get told that I did absolutely nothing wrong. Wife says it's a miracle that I don't just lie in bed all day under the covers.

Three weeks ago, I was in the running for a position at the MNCPA for basically the same job I've been doing for the past 5 years, even less demanding, in fact. I did something I hadn't done before, I was more myself than usual, rather than formulating answers based on advice learned from interview books and websites. I briefly hinted at this previously, but want to go into this more. At one point I mentioned how my last job writing and editing newsletters was everything I loved about journalism with nothing I hated. I usually don't use the hate word, and books would say this is a big no no. And when asked what I hated about the job, I answered with my heart rather than my head.

"Well, that's a big question with a rather complicated answer, but I think it comes down to honesty. Newspapers pretend to be objective, but, particularly in small towns, the newspaper is essentially a promotional tool for how wonderful the community is no matter what the story. I found that to be a sort of dishonesty that can eat at you over time. Newsletters, however, are up front about their purpose. Everyone involved is in on the production process. You write stories about people, and they have a chance to see it before it goes to print. I like that collaboration."

Ordinarily, I would follow advice and address such a question with this. It usually doesn't come up since I don't talk like that about former jobs to begin with.

Anyway, I came in second for the job. The interviewer was super nice and left a message for me that was hands down the best rejection I have ever received. She seemed very sad that she couldn't hire me, that they didn't have two jobs. "You did everything absolutely right," she said. If anything didn't work out with the other person, or if she heard of anything, she would let me know. It made me feel pretty good and hopeful for the future. Perhaps I had latched onto something.

Then, on Tuesday last week, the same MNCPA job was posted online. Perhaps it was a mistake? I emailed. No response. I called, no answer. I called again, and she picked up. It was a pleasant conversation. I asked about the position, indicated that I was still available and willing. She said they were starting the search from scratch, and that I would be in the mix, that the other person didn't work out for some vague reason, and they were going another direction (with the same exact job description). She didn't know how long the process would take, but I should call back to check in at some point. I wanted to throw up a bit. Was everything she said before a lie? Was I grasping on to such hopeful words after a long, brutal search for jobs, for nothing? I was on lunch at my temp job, so there were no blankets to crawl under.

Life goes on. More jobs applied to. I'm waiting to hear about one editing position after interviewing 10 days ago. I should hear in the next day or two. I have a phone interview on Wednesday for a proofreading job and an in-person interview on Thursday evening for a job at Sears that would be a desperate return to retail. Next week I have an interview to work for the state in a caretaking position.

All I have ever wanted to do was write, to work on the craft, to meet people and talk to them until I find out why they are incredible and to share their stories with others. I moved to the cities thinking 8 years of doing just that and doing it well -- and earning a master's degree -- would be enough to land any number of communications jobs only asking for 2-3 years of experience and a bachelor's degree. Turns out that it isn't.

After almost 6 months, I did manage to get a temp job last week entering data from an adobe document to a CMS system. It continues this week. Although there were two aggravating hiccups with the temp service.   On Wednesday, when the world was covered in ice, I woke in time to give myself an hour and a half to drive ten miles to work. What I didn't account for was the extra 30 miles that would be added to the trip when my wife needed me to drive her to work as well. I notified the temp service of this. When I got a call from them, she asked "did you leave early?" Like I was some lazy roustabout barely able to figure out this whole "work" thing. I let it slide. Much like my car on the way to work. Then, I found out about a potential full-time job interview that wanted to see me. I emailed the temp service to ask: "I have received a call about an interview on Friday. I have not asked about how you work around interviews for permanent positions. I have not returned the call for the interview yet, so don't know how flexible they are on time, but she requested a 2 p.m. interview. Let me know." The answer was illuminating.

"As for an interview on Friday – this is only a week to 2 week assignment so it does not look good to have an interview during this period.  I would think the company would accommodate you if they know you are working on contract and will schedule after hours."

First, thanks for assuming that anyone would stay late at their job to interview a potential employee. Second, thanks for putting my temporary position above a potential permanent placement.

Anyway, that's a lot of ranting for one blog post. It may not be exciting to read, but this one was more therapy than anything.

Take your job advice and shove it

It’s been one of those weeks where I’ve been disoriented a lot because I can’t hear out of one ear. I get ear infections from time to time, and I’ve had so many at this point, the only way I know is I can’t hear. So now I’ve been on an antibiotic for 12 days and it still isn’t better but I have to wait until Tuesday to go in for something else. Antibiotics make pooping horrible, and it used to be a favorite past time of mine.

The main focal point of this entry, though, is to address those of you out there who like to cast aspersions on people who by hook and crook can’t land a job.

Back when wife was unemployed for 9 months, she started volunteering her time as she searched for jobs. She worked the phone bank for the Fargo Flood people and worked for the Red Cross. They got her out of the house, talking to people besides me, and put something fresh on the resume. She was applying for any and everything in Fargo Moorhead. She applied to work reception at an acupuncture place, teaching at any of the public, private and for profit colleges, student advising, libraries – basically anything that she had some degree of aptitude and experience to do.

While volunteering at the phone lines, she worked alongside middle-aged women who were married to well off people and didn’t need regular jobs. They would give her advice that always came off horribly. One said she should apply to teach high school, which you need a teaching license for which she doesn’t have. The person said she obviously didn’t have a job yet because she was being too picky.

Flash forward. I’ve been applying to about 20 jobs a week for several months now. I’ve become a wizard at filling out my job history, including phone numbers and addresses, from memory. I’ve had a couple dozen interviews, which means I’m in the top 5-10 out of 100 candidates usually. Last week I came in second for a job that would have been perfect. It was gut wrenching, but the interviewer said I did every single thing right, that I was obviously a great candidate, and she wished she had two jobs open. It was a spirit lifting message, since often times they don’t go that far and you are left wondering what happened.

I’m applying mostly to communications positions that fit me between 80-100 percent. That alone keeps me busy, but I’ve also been applying to stop-gap jobs that I have experience in – retail, home health care, admin work. That hasn’t worked either. Side note, menial jobs are much more likely to have to take hour-long ethical quizzes than jobs higher up the chain – seems to me this is backward.

I’ve got two temp-agencies working with me, one creative, one office staffing. Still nothing. I’ve been to job fairs and networking events. I’ve had people in various organizations put in a good word for me. I’ve listed my resume on a half-dozen sites. Still nothing.

Surely there must be something wrong with me, the common thinking goes. Anyone who wants a job can get one in this country. That’s what politicians like to say, and people believe it. They believe that they got a job because of their exemplary skills. I admit I had this too. When wife got a job in the cities, I figured with my strong background, awards, and crazy work ethic, it wouldn’t take long to land a job. I haven't been jobless more than 2 months since I was 15, and even then I usually had two jobs going on at any given time for a 50-60 hour work week. Sometimes, though, life just doesn’t work out that way no matter what you try, no matter how many different types of jobs you apply for.

I’m still getting interviews on a weekly basis with a resume one guy said was the worst he’d ever seen. After so many interviews, it starts to be like acting in a play. You wait for your queue and recite your well-rehearsed answers. For the last interview, I was a little more myself than usual. Rather than follow the advice from books and blogs about how to answer questions in an interview, I opened up a little bit and said what I actually thought when it came to the “what didn’t you like about your job” question. It got me closer to a job than I have before. So sometimes, you just have to chuck all the sage advice out the window and try something else.

If you are an HR person and do this, I sort of hate you

Dear HR form letter,

Thank you for letting me know that you will not be pursuing me for the posted position. I appreciate a form letter versus a black hole like Target or Celarity. After being in the rejection business for a few months, I have to draw your attention to one sentence that keeps popping up in letter after letter. I believe you wrote it with all good intentions, but it is ultimately aggravating beyond belief, and makes me wish bad things upon you. That sentence is:

“After reviewing your resume and carefully considering your qualifications, we have decided to pursue other candidates who more closely match the skills and credentials required for the position.”

Here’s another example:

“However, we have filled the job with a candidate whose qualifications more closely align with the requirements for this position.”

Why is this aggravating? I have to tell you, I don’t spend much time applying to job openings that are not in my wheelhouse. Of the 30 jobs I applied to last week, two of them were a bit outside my range, but only in some of the duties listed. So to say that there are candidates whose qualifications more closely match the skills and credentials required is like saying you found an ice cream that more closely matches the qualities and taste of ice cream than ice cream. What I’m saying is that your attempt to rationalize your decision doesn’t make logical sense, and becomes even more insulting since it then appears you did not look at my credentials and qualifications to see how well they match the position.

This would not be constructive criticism unless I offered an alternative. Here is a rejection letter that made me perfectly happy.

“Thank you for your interest in our Marketing Communications Specialist position in our Minneapolis  office. We regret to inform you that we have filled this position. We appreciate your interest in opportunities with us, and will retain your information for consideration for future openings. We wish you the best of success in your employment search.”

Rather than attempt to tell me why I didn’t get a call, the company just politely thanks me, tells me that the position was filled, and leaves with a nice (even if form-letter-level-sincere) wish for success. Quick rejection sandwiched in between two slices of politeness. Thank you, company! I will keep an eye on future opportunities with you!

Here’s another one:

“Thank you for your interest in working at The Loft Literary Center.  You were one of 130 qualified applicants for the posted job of marketing coordinator. I wanted to let you know that we’ve narrowed the search to five candidates that do not include your application. Thank you for giving us a chance to review your qualifications and interest in the literary arts.”

This one was appreciated because it didn’t offer any trite reasons for not choosing me, and it had the benefit of letting me know how stiff the competition was. I feel better knowing I wasn’t in the top five out of 130 people. I have interviewed in person for several jobs knowing I was in the top 5-10 out of more than 100 applicants, so I know I’m up there, just not for this particular position. Once I have a job, I’ll probably look into volunteering at The Loft, or using their services.

Anyway, if you are in charge of writing these rejection form letters, please keep in mind the implications of writing vague reasons for not choosing an applicant. I’m sure the process is usually an individual choice based on what you are looking for, and the reasons for rejecting people are as varied as the number of applicants, so to reduce your reasons to something that is simply not true for each applicant insults the applicants and reduces the perceived value of the work you do for the company.

Sincerely,

One of the hundreds of applicants you rejected today

Fear in the workplace sucks balls

It's a mix of emotions when you leave a job for the great unknown. On the one hand, you spent five years of your life working for a company. You've gotten along great with your coworkers, and for the most part you enjoyed the work, which is all one can really ask for. You feel guilty for leaving, even, though events are out of your hands. You feel a strong loyalty for the company, and keep your online social life anonymous to protect your coworkers and employer from any possible negative perceptions - since although you don't write poorly of them, your online persona is not professional and could cause problems by association. You leave guilty because the work you have done is going to be put on your coworkers who you've relied on and helped in the past. They are your team.

On the other hand, there was little future at the company for you, and you worked under the constant fear that one of your coworkers will be leaving, never to be replaced and all that extra work will go on you without any compensation or hope that things will get better down the road. You leap into the great unknown feeling hopeful, good about whatever opportunities may come along.

Then, down the road, you decide to have a Web page put together, a creative portfolio where you can send potential employers rather than clog their inboxes with 11 gigabyte pdf files. You get the idea to put testimonials on the site, a few sentences from former colleagues and businesses you've worked with on a freelance basis. You've always been a supportive co-worker and felt comfortable conversing with your teammates. You send a request for such quotes. The photographer you worked with writes up wonderfully kind words, the writer who left for other pastures composes a glowing quote, the business you helped with brochure copy and a feature article positively croons for you.

Then you get an email from the writers you left behind.

"We talked to the boss, and now we are uncomfortable with having our names and the company listed on an open website as references/testimonials. If you want statements that would go to a specific person or company, let us know. Sorry from both of us."

Hey, think you could help pull out all these knives?

Initially, I was hurt and shocked that they wouldn't help me out, even considering the site would only be used for employers that request an online portfolio. I was angry at all the time I had spent consoling one of the writers who would weekly come to me for advice on a story or how to deal with the boss to the point I worried she would have a nervous breakdown. I was angry at the other writer who had been a good colleague and friend to share "war" stories with about reporting certain issues or dealing with certain organizations.

Then it dawned on me that they weren't the issue. I had already forgotten the culture of fear that had been used over the past few years, slowly getting worse with each week. They have become afraid for their jobs after seeing a half dozen others leave their positions never to be replaced, which only sends one message, everyone is expendable, and do not call attention to yourself. I had forgotten that I spent the last few years doing my best not to remind my boss that I worked there by quietly going about my work and getting everything done on time. It had slowly grown dark from the early days in the office, tone-wise. I used to leave my office and converse with my coworkers more often in the first few years of working there. But over time, I learned to keep my mouth shut, stay in my hole, and not risk sticking my head out for fear of having it declared unnecessary. I think the writers in the office felt this in their bones more than the designers and other creative talent. The writers were never replaced.  

In the end, the rejection for a simple quote hurt, but it also reminded me how lucky I am to have moved away from such an environment, where the very air can leech away your happiness.



The interview

On Nov. 18, I interviewed with a major health provider in Minnesota. The job basics were exactly what I have been doing over the past 10 years. I haven’t seen a job offering that matched me closer. 

Her: Tell me why you want to work here.

Me: Well, if I can get a bit personal, I’ve had a long history with healthcare as a patient. I’ve also worked with teens with mental or behavior issues at a group home, so I am very familiar with the issues that can arise in providing care. More than that though, my fiance was on the North Dakota state health care for the past two years. Between nearly 500 in premiums and 500 in medications each month, we were in a dire situation. With her new job, and your health care plan through them, her medications were $108 for three months. I understand exactly how important health care is to people, and I want to use my skills to help your company communicate that to members and stakeholders.

Her: How do you feel about writing articles for newsletters?

Me: That’s been my main job for the past five years. I am well versed in working with diverse groups of people and clients to deliver key messages.

Her: What do you not like about your last job?

Me: Well, most of the time when you are working with subject matter experts, when you give them the copy to look over, they will change a word or sentence here and there. But every now and then, you get back your piece and it’s been completely changed, and for the worse. At times like that, you take a breath, put it away for an hour, then come back and go through the changes one by one to see if it is a necessary change for accuracy or a change for their personal preference. I’ve never had an issue with subject matter experts once I go over the changes and explain the need to create readable pieces for a general or specific audience.

Her: What did you enjoy?

Me: I love working with experts in their fields, learning new things, and sharing the cool things they do with others. I love taking complex information and making it understandable, which is probably why I enjoy teaching as well. I love meeting people with different points of view and finding out how they approach the world. I get jazzed working with other writers on communication issues and how best to approach them in new ways.

Etc.

I sent a thank you letter three days later, the Monday before Thanksgiving. Today, I emailed the recruiter/screener who first talked to me before the in person interview. I got this back.

“Thanks for reaching out to me in regards to the Sr. Communications Consultant position.  At this time, the manager is pursuing interviews with additional candidates who more closely match the needs of the department.  I apologize that you had not been notified sooner. Please let me know if you have any questions and I wish you luck in your job search.”

I emailed her back.

“Thanks for getting back to me! As I have been doing everything required of the job for longer than the requested length of time, I was wondering what area I was seen to not meet. As I continue to apply for jobs, I would like to be able to address such misconceptions before they arise. Thanks for your help, and best of luck with your search.”

I’ve sent similar requests in the past, without the slight aggressiveness about meeting the needs of the department, but about 50 percent of the time, I don’t hear back. The other 50 percent say I did nothing wrong.

I’ve ranted about this before, but it’s SOOOO frustrating to be doing everything right, to interview well for jobs I’m more than qualified for and would kick ass in. After 3 months off the job, I am anxious to tear it up, kick some ass, and work my butt off for whoever hires me. As it is, I had such a good feeling about this job, I don’t know what to do now. I feel like I wouldn’t be qualified to do my old job at this point.

I’m getting married in less than two weeks, have less than 40 bucks to my name. I got a call from a recruiter to send my name to another organization for a job that starts next week. At this point, it’s hard to get my hopes up.

The worst writing job posting I've seen

I’ve been scouring the web for job postings for two months now. Had a bunch of interviews and promising responses. Sometimes, I’ll cruise Craislist just for kicks, but the number of scams and crap on there usually make it counterproductive. There are so many hours in a day after all.

Until now, my favorite ridiculous requirement for a posting was “Evidence of sensitivity to and acceptance of people from diverse cultures.” That commentary is here

I’m cruising through today’s indeed.com posting, and come across the below ad, which goes above and beyond any previous ridiculousness.

Cosmetic Surgery Article and Content Writing
oDesk - Minnetonka, MN
See original job posting at oDesk »

Hello,

I will offer you a project based job, with a lot of articles to write and I want you to write them for me for $2/article.

I am looking for someone to write approximately 16 descriptions of different cosmetic surgery procedures (~300-500 words each).

The descriptions of the different procedures should include (bus is not limited to):

• Good candidates for the procedure
• Ideal outcome
• How the procedure is performed
• Recovery
• Risks

Furthermore, I will want an additional ~8 articles (~400-600 words each) on certain cosmetic surgery related topics.

Candidates must be fluent in english and have previous writing experience.

If you are interested, I would like to hire you first for a trial write up of one of the procedures, and if I am happy with your work, then hire you for the rest of the project.

I would like to pay you $3.00 for the first/trial article. And then if I am satisfied with your work, pay you $2.00/article for the remaining ~25 articles.

Please respond at your earliest convenience with a cover letter and a short explanation of why I should trust you for this job.

Thanks,

Nate

Where to start with this one? How about the rate of pay expected for a professional writer. For those who don’t write, let me give you an idea. If I’m burning through an article of 300-500 words, I can expect the first draft to take between 20-30 minutes. The research involved before that takes about an hour. This isn’t including revisions and so forth. And working this fast leads to bad writing. So 25 articles would take about a solid week of work. For $51. That's $1.35 an hour. You could move to Indonesia and work for Nike for more money than that.

As a comparison, I recently got paid $100 for a 500 word article for a business. A quick search of common rates for freelance writing is $77 an hour . The low end on another site for writing is $45 an hour. 

Any writer willing to do the above work would be losing money in time and cost of production. Not only that, you get the privilege of writing a trial article for this person just for the pleasure of losing money writing the rest of the articles.

The perception of professional writing as an easy task that doesn’t take years of practice is pretty common. Craigslist often includes ads for business that want people to write for them “for the experience.” This ad is even worse, because I get the impression that since you are being “paid” for the work, the poster will be much more critical and hard to work with than someone just looking for free copy. But more than that, you are saying something about your business by how little you want to pay for the very thing that will help you drive in new customers. What you are saying is not good.

Back to applying for jobs that could reasonably support a life.

The Minnesota Unemployment Insurance kick in the balls

It took fiance about 3 months to go through all the steps necessary for her to get unemployment. She went through North Dakota, then Minnesota. It was a bitch of a system, and I wasn't looking forward to it. Two months after leaving my job because my fiance got a job in the cities, I finally heard from MN unemployment.

Minnesota determined me ineligible for unemployment last night because I didn’t move with my spouse. I called today to talk to them.

Me: Hi, I’m calling about my ineligibility determination.

Her: How can I help you?

Me: First off, I just wanted to check on the part that says pending issues for my second job.

Her: (looking) Well, it appears that that is no longer a pending issue. It has been resolved. It appears you are still working there.

Me: I’m not.

Her: Oh.

Me: That department no longer offers classes, so there’s nothing to teach.

Her: …

Me: So.

Her: …

Me: Did it affect anything?

Her: No.

Me: So despite the fact that that department made cutbacks and is no longer running doesn’t affect things?

Her: No.

Me: OK, let’s talk about the rest of it. I was denied because I’m not married to my fiance?

Her: Yes.

Me: Does it matter that we will be married in 5 weeks?

Her: No. Unfortunately not. The legislature was quite clear on that point.

Me: Or that we’ve been living together for almost 3 years?

Her: Sorry. 

Me: But if we were married, it'd be a different story. 

Her: In most cases. Yes.

Me: Is this how gay people feel?

Her: …

Me: OK, so your saying that because I’m not married yet to the person I’ve been living with and will be marrying in five weeks, and that my second job was cut, which in large part necessitated our move to make enough to sustain ourselves on, I am ineligible.

Her: Well, are you working since then?

Me: I’ve judged some high school debates, but nothing full time or permanent.

Her:  You would have to have another job.

Me: (wishing I said, why would I need unemployment then?) OK, so there’s nothing I can do?

Her: You can appeal to find out for sure.

Me: …

Her: …

Me: …

Her: Is there anything else I can help you with?

Me: I guess not.