Netzophrenia

Hello valued customer, 

I want to thank you for choosing Netflix, also known as Quickster, then for a few hours, Moovier, before changing back to Netflix again.

In these tough and unknown economic times, we at Netquick strive to fully show our support by mirroring the United States' uncertainty and keeping you, the customer, on your toes. Are you enjoying the ride?

Quickflix wants to inform you that to keep our prices low, we will be making a slight change in our services. Our movies will now be delivered right to your hand by elephant. That’s right, Netphant is working for you. Our elephants, you should know, cannot reach every residence due to local laws, so between our service described two sentences ago and now, we have changed our business model to deliver you movies on the double by providing one central location in Kansas City where you can bring in your movies and take home new ones at the same low cost of 10.99 a month. That just changed to 12.99 a month. Order Quickphlixsas soon.

You may notice the name change throughout this letter. At this point, it is difficult to write our name in any correspondence since we change it every 10 seconds. By the time I went back and changed them all, they would be out of date. So I will continue to refer to our services as they are named when I write them. That’s the up to date care you will get from us at Netster.

So for the low introductory price of 15.99, you can get 10 minutes of your favorite movies at a time. Our central location has now changed to Nome, Alaska. If you are enroute, for 5.99 a month, you can get our new ap that will tell you where the central location is to go and get your next movie. It’s never been so easy!

Thank you for continuing to support Netfilmresidue. We appreciate your business.

Sincerely,

The Netflop team