Open letter to the guy I was a dick to this morning

Dear guy,

I am not a good morning person. In fact, given the chance, I would punch a kitten to get five more minutes of sweet sweet sleep. Every day. Every fucking day.

My fiancé has learned not to try to ask me questions that require more than one word answers in the morning. Just as I have learned to make her coffee so it’s ready when she gets up and the world is just a little better.

I hate coffee, which may be part of the problem, but let’s get to the point here. I got in some Daily Show this morning, made the bed after waking fiancé, got together my paltry lunch of strawberries and yogurt and granola bar because I’m on a diet that sucks and I still live in Fargo despite trying again and again to find employment somewhere else because with all the rain this summer keeping the river above flood levels, I’m wondering if Fargo will pull a Minot next summer plus it would be nice for the fiancé to land a job with health insurance so we don’t have to pay $475 a month for the “safety net” insurance North Dakota "provides" for those who can’t get insurance elsewhere.

So that’s where my head was at as I made my way to my new gas station morning stop because my old one is off limits after telling the teller I loved him (see previous blog). I was a block away from the station and stopped behind you at a stop sign when your car appeared to die. Your car rolled back a little bit and I wondered if you were going to hit me. You flicked on the hazard lights.

A good person would have stopped. We were on a side street. A good person would have stopped to see if they could help, regardless of his complete lack of knowledge of cars, the fact he left his jumper cables back home, and that his car struggles to start every morning even though the mechanic says it’s fine.

I am not a good person.

The gas station was a block away and clearly visible. I pulled around you and kept going, but I felt guilty enough to drive out of my way to a gas station a mile away so you wouldn’t see me pull in to get my two energy drinks, cigs, and whatever else will quiet the demons that Just. Won’t. Shut. Up. Today it was a box of Nerds candy.

I hope your engine turned over. I hope you got to work. I hope your day gets better. But I was not there to mumble unhelpful advice and watch your folly of a morning. I recommend a box of Nerds candy.

Sincerely,

Fargo Jones