Got wife to watch Blink

So I'm a bit of a Dr. Who fan. first episode I remember is a vague recollection of the Tom Baker version on PBS when I was hanging out at a friend's house in 7th grade. His dad watched it. I noted it, and it stuck in whatever brain cavity things from that time period stick in that you can recall decades later, cause I don't remember shit about ANY OTHER watching habits of parents of friends, or even the friends themselves.

Then many years later, I was flipping around the channels and caught an episode of the reboot, the one where Rose meets her father on the day he died. It's pretty nuts, and I remember thinking "Wow, that guy from Shallow Grave is in this." Since that is what Christopher Eccleston was to me.  I also saw the second episode around that time, must have been a marathon or something that day on PBS.

A couple years go by, I hear things, and Dr. Who shows up on netflix or something, so I check it out. And I soon get hooked.

I've been raving about it ever since meeting the wife. I also raved about Lost and Battlestar Galactica. She watched them, enjoyed bits, and hated other bits. She really loathes having spent so much time on Lost, as the only redeeming factor was Desmond/Penny to her. But she keeps trying, and I keep trying her stuff.

I hesitated watching Big Bang Theory and The New Girl, but I am thoroughly hooked by those shows after some time (although Big Bang Theory is a season or two behind, since we don't get TV really, and their show isn't easily available for people who like to use Netflix, Hulu+, Amazon Prime, and Redbox - so yeah, it's my fault that I don't watch the ONE thing they are available on).

Wife even made a wedding vow to watch Doctor Who with me. This was not prompted by me at all. This was what she came up with.

We slogged through. She had me fast forward the nightmare enducing parts, like the WWII gas mask two parter. If it's creepy as fuck and gross to boot, she doesn't want to play.

So she's decided after a season and a half of Tennant and she wants to skip ahead to the next doctor. She just doesn't like Tennant like she did Eccelston, and she's seen some of Smith. Before we can do that, I said, there are a few key episodes you still have to see. Blink and Silence in the Library I think, since they introduce major additions to the Whoniverse. We'll miss out on the Master's intro, but seriously I think if wife saw the head spider things that come from that one and I wouldn't be able to get her to sit through another episode ever. He hasnt' been an issue in the Smith years anyway, so no worries. (I know jumping ahead is sacrilege to some people, but screw you, did you start with the first episode 50 years ago and watch every one in order? No you didn't cause that isn't possible unless you are British and old, and if that's the case why the hell are you reading my blog?)

Here's a bit about Blink for the uninitiated:


Tonight, after a day of cooking, wrapping gifts, cleaning and more chores, we sat down and watched Blink while wife did some online shopping for gifts. First 25 minutes, she wasn't into it. After hearing from me and others that it was THE BEST episode, she was not impressed.

Just Like McKayla

So after the needling, I asked her to hey, tone it down, and put down the computer, let me rub your legs, and let's close out the last 13 minutes. 

And she loved it. 

Yeah, it's that good. 

The Target Clerk Dipshit Conundrum

I don’t know what it is with me and clerks. Maybe it’s just that I have more contact with them in usual life. I have another short anecdote about a clerk. It may not be as embarrassing as the “I love you” incident, or as fascinating as the “trapped in the car wash” scene, but its up in my top five cause it happened a week ago and I still can’t shake it.

So wife got this lovely shirt for me for my birthday. The T-shirt is run of the mill screen print with this design on the front:

And that’s it. I love it and wear it on weekends. What’s really nice is I get compliments on it from fellow fans of the Doctor. That’s right, random strangers stop me and tell me, Nice shirt! One of my coworkers squealed in delight when I wore it on casual Friday, the other two had no idea what the big deal was or really heard of the show.

That’s all preamble to the following conversation had at Target last week. I was wearing the shirt. I was with the Wife, and we were checking out with a small hand cart full of items. The line below is when I slip between what was actually said, and what happened subsequently in my head. Enjoy.

Clerk: What’s with the shirt?

Me: Hmm?

Clerk: What’s the deal with the shirt?

Me: Oh, it’s just a show.

Clerk: I get that, the Daleks and all, but what’s the deal with it?

Me: Um, it’s just the Daleks crossing Abbey Road.

Clerk: Yeah, so, is there a point to it?

Me: Um, well, I think it’s just mashing two well known British icons together into one image.

Clerk: Huh. Whatever. I don’t see redfoot. Where’s redfoot?

Me: Um, I don’t know.

Me: Listen here you dickwad. I love that we live in this new internet age where you don’t have to feel bad for having a hobby and apparently feel that no one can love something as much as you. You remind me of  a hipster version of simpsons comic book guy, and you need to take down the superiority a notch. Really, it’s a show, I like it, I wear a shirt to display that appreciation, which is the only shirt I own with anything, not even a logo, on it (besides the subsequently bought tshirt with a Sherlock design). Just because someone doesn’t go through the trouble of learning every fuckiing nuance of a decades old tv show doesn’t make them less than you in whatever fucked up version of reality you live in. There’s no mystery to the shirt, it’s a mashup of two images. That’s it. No mystery to solve. No clever little Easter eggs for only the “true” fan to appreciate. What you see is what you get. Now go choke on a fucking adipose  you twat.

Me: have a good night.

Clerk: (shrugs and turns to next customer)

The nerd cleavage bonanza

I've been to the Renaissance Festival twice before. The first time I was about 14, with my family. I remember my sister crying from how sore her feet got, she even had to get molded inserts for her shoes to help her feet grow correctly after that. The second time, I was 22, and went with some friends. We watched glass blowing for about a half hour. I don't remember much else.

This year, some friends who are die-hard fans of the fest had some free tickets. Fiance needed a day off for herself, so this was the perfect opportunity to have me babysat for the day. My friends get rather decked out for the fest, complete with doublets, feathered leather hat, knee high boots, leather gauntlets, etc. My friend was even asked to have his picture taken by a stranger who said she wanted her fiancé to dress up like him for her wedding.  I have no such accoutrements, and went in my normal clothes. I tried to refer to myself as in full costume as "the Doctor." The joke didn't go over well with them. Le sigh.

Things I learned at Ren Fest:

1.       People in medieval timey England were fond of eating foods like turkey legs, ale, cider, onion rings, cheese curds, pizza, soda, and a rustic treat called "funnel cakes"

2.       The inhabitants of this time in history were likely to wear either chain mail and swords even when not actively participating in combat.

3.       Other inhabitants liked to dress up as if they were pirates from hundreds of years in the future with a liking for eyeliner.

4.       People who sell pickles were often shirtless.

5.       Some people earned a living asking for money to insult the person paying them.

6.       In England during this time period, fairies were often found wandering the streets with flutes or soap bubbles. I imagine they died out from plague or famine, being unable to use English to ask for food or money. It is too bad that fairies do not live yet today.

7.       People in the 1600s really loved pewter things. Especially if it involved dragons.

8.       They also loved staffs, being experts in both walking and in the martial arts.

9.       Ye olden times were known for relaxation, often in suspended canvas chairs that swung from a peg in the ceiling.

10.   The silk-screen shirt began in England.

11.   Outside every village was a sea of vehicles driven by internal combustion engine.

12.   Port a potties were plentiful and well used.

I did have a good time watching the falconer, some vilification tennis where the actors sling ya mamma jokes with devastating acuity, and looking for a nice necklace for the fiancé. While waiting at one of the ye olde timey ATM machines, I overheard the following conversation between what sounded like a 20 something man and his mother.

Mother: What are you doing?

Man: Waiting for the ATM.

Mother: Here, let me be your ATM. Here's 40 bucks.

Man: That's OK. I'll just wait.

Mother: Those things are a rip off. You'll pay 5 dollars to get 20.

Man: That's OK.

Mother: Just take the 40 bucks. Let's go.

Man: I'll just wait here.

Mother: What did you want to get?

Man: A turkey leg.

Mother: I'll get it for you, come on.

Man: You do that. I'll wait here.

This went on for three more escalating minutes until the guy gave up and left.

The weather was wonderful for the day, and by 4, I was extremely tired. The toddler with us got fairy dusted (sprinkled with glitter), which thereafter contaminated the rest of us for a fun education in plague.

Lastly, I'm a nerd myself, so I feel comfortable saying this, but I've never seen so many nerds together at once. It was like a convention of the outcasts from "Wet Hot Crazy Summer." People carried swords with abandon. Women sported outfits that barred midriffs and spilled cleavage without prejudice all over the streets of yore.

Men wore kilts and cloaks without fear of reprisal. People let their nerd flags fly, and it was glorious.