I'm homeless and loving it!

On phone at 4 p.m.…

Me: Hey baby.

Wife: Hi.

Me: We're homeless and I couldn't be more happy!

Wife: That's wonderful!

Re-enactment

Earlier…

Five years ago, I took the plunge and bought a house. Today, I sold it. I am so incredibly grateful to be done with the whole mess.

I've pontificated previously on the horrible downsides of having a house. I don't want to rehash that.

I'm sitting in Spicy Pie right now, waiting for the only slice of pizza I can afford. Between the wife and I, we have 20 bucks. Because this is a short sale, I do get a little kick back, about 500, so I'll be able to get home to the cities tonight and post this.

I have an hour before I need to go in and sign the house away.

I just spent an hour picking up a few final items from the house. I left some random stuff - shelving, some chairs, a hammock, a dehumidifier. I swept out the garage one last time. Not because I wanted to, but I felt bad that the yard wasn't mowed, the weeds weren't pulled, and adding yardwork to moving would just suck balls. So today was just driving to Fargo, signing a bunch of papers, and driving home. No time to dilly dally.

It no longer felt like home. The scars of the last year in Fargo will be with me for a long time to come. The hours spent trying to make fiancé feel like there was more to life than lying in bed and looking at the ceiling and wondering why we keep going. The weeks of no phone calls or interest in her resume. The months of working volunteer jobs and temp work just to have something to do, a reason to get out of bed in the morning. This mode of existence sucked all enjoyment for life from me. I became even more withdrawn than usual. There's only so many times you can say "Tomorrow will be better" before you feel useless and powerless.

So we ran. We ran to the cities. We no longer have to spend our days wondering how we can afford to repair the latest mechanical problem, or the time spent mowing, shoveling, and all the other bric-a-brac that brought none of the enjoyment from a job well done that you see with homeowners on TV. All our work accomplished was making our mess of a yard a little less messy.

It hasn't been easy. The last few months has been filled with job applications, a few hours of temp work, lots of credit companies calling to say hello. On Monday, I will be going in for a third interview in the "casual lunch" form for a job that would solve soo many problems.  I have about 15 hours of editing work, 7 hours of temp work, and some writing between now and then. I've got two art writing assignments for May, and more pitches to write. Things are on an upswing, but history shows how fragile that is and it's hard for me to be happy about such things prematurely.

But I am glad that today I can walk away from homeownership. I escaped with only some bruises and scrapes.