Monday, March 5, 2012

The incredibly demeaning, pointless, soul sucking mindfuck that is job hunting


So it's been about 6 months now of job hunting. 250 jobs applied to, 2 job fairs, 2 networking events, and about 30 phone and in person interviews. That's 1 out of every ten applications that gets an interview. When you figure that most jobs have 90-200 applicants, I think those are pretty good numbers, yet I still have not converted into a job. The frustration is aggravating, demoralizing, and highly depressing. I've been sooooo close, and usually get told that I did absolutely nothing wrong. Wife says it's a miracle that I don't just lie in bed all day under the covers.

Three weeks ago, I was in the running for a position at the MNCPA for basically the same job I've been doing for the past 5 years, even less demanding, in fact. I did something I hadn't done before, I was more myself than usual, rather than formulating answers based on advice learned from interview books and websites. I briefly hinted at this previously, but want to go into this more. At one point I mentioned how my last job writing and editing newsletters was everything I loved about journalism with nothing I hated. I usually don't use the hate word, and books would say this is a big no no. And when asked what I hated about the job, I answered with my heart rather than my head.

"Well, that's a big question with a rather complicated answer, but I think it comes down to honesty. Newspapers pretend to be objective, but, particularly in small towns, the newspaper is essentially a promotional tool for how wonderful the community is no matter what the story. I found that to be a sort of dishonesty that can eat at you over time. Newsletters, however, are up front about their purpose. Everyone involved is in on the production process. You write stories about people, and they have a chance to see it before it goes to print. I like that collaboration."

Ordinarily, I would follow advice and address such a question with this. It usually doesn't come up since I don't talk like that about former jobs to begin with.

Anyway, I came in second for the job. The interviewer was super nice and left a message for me that was hands down the best rejection I have ever received. She seemed very sad that she couldn't hire me, that they didn't have two jobs. "You did everything absolutely right," she said. If anything didn't work out with the other person, or if she heard of anything, she would let me know. It made me feel pretty good and hopeful for the future. Perhaps I had latched onto something.

Then, on Tuesday last week, the same MNCPA job was posted online. Perhaps it was a mistake? I emailed. No response. I called, no answer. I called again, and she picked up. It was a pleasant conversation. I asked about the position, indicated that I was still available and willing. She said they were starting the search from scratch, and that I would be in the mix, that the other person didn't work out for some vague reason, and they were going another direction (with the same exact job description). She didn't know how long the process would take, but I should call back to check in at some point. I wanted to throw up a bit. Was everything she said before a lie? Was I grasping on to such hopeful words after a long, brutal search for jobs, for nothing? I was on lunch at my temp job, so there were no blankets to crawl under.

Life goes on. More jobs applied to. I'm waiting to hear about one editing position after interviewing 10 days ago. I should hear in the next day or two. I have a phone interview on Wednesday for a proofreading job and an in-person interview on Thursday evening for a job at Sears that would be a desperate return to retail. Next week I have an interview to work for the state in a caretaking position.

All I have ever wanted to do was write, to work on the craft, to meet people and talk to them until I find out why they are incredible and to share their stories with others. I moved to the cities thinking 8 years of doing just that and doing it well -- and earning a master's degree -- would be enough to land any number of communications jobs only asking for 2-3 years of experience and a bachelor's degree. Turns out that it isn't.

After almost 6 months, I did manage to get a temp job last week entering data from an adobe document to a CMS system. It continues this week. Although there were two aggravating hiccups with the temp service.   On Wednesday, when the world was covered in ice, I woke in time to give myself an hour and a half to drive ten miles to work. What I didn't account for was the extra 30 miles that would be added to the trip when my wife needed me to drive her to work as well. I notified the temp service of this. When I got a call from them, she asked "did you leave early?" Like I was some lazy roustabout barely able to figure out this whole "work" thing. I let it slide. Much like my car on the way to work. Then, I found out about a potential full-time job interview that wanted to see me. I emailed the temp service to ask: "I have received a call about an interview on Friday. I have not asked about how you work around interviews for permanent positions. I have not returned the call for the interview yet, so don't know how flexible they are on time, but she requested a 2 p.m. interview. Let me know." The answer was illuminating.

"As for an interview on Friday – this is only a week to 2 week assignment so it does not look good to have an interview during this period.  I would think the company would accommodate you if they know you are working on contract and will schedule after hours."

First, thanks for assuming that anyone would stay late at their job to interview a potential employee. Second, thanks for putting my temporary position above a potential permanent placement.

Anyway, that's a lot of ranting for one blog post. It may not be exciting to read, but this one was more therapy than anything.

No comments:

Post a Comment