Got hitched, now pulling the cart *rimshot!*

It’s been 8 days since the wedding. The crazy began about 5 days before, Fiance waking at 5 in the morning with a new detail she needed to get taken care of RIGHT NOW SO GET OUT OF BED AND HELP ME. The real test of marriage is the week before the wedding. Emotions are on a knife edge. And as the guy, all I can do is try not to let my jaw drop too much each time she comes up with some new thing to obsess about and flip out over and just quietly follow orders in order to appease the voices now in control of her head.

It was all I could do not to constantly hug her friend who came two days before the wedding to stay with us and divide the crazy appeasement. It was like having a fellow POW, where you look at each other and you just know you are both thinking, “OK, this is nuts, but we are both going to act like she is completely rational and take care of this new problem.”

The best weapon in a wedding arsenal is to have two completely trustworthy and awesome people. People who aren’t the best man and maid of honor, so they can work behind the scenes and kick ass. Fiance gave these two people the power of delegation, a battle plan, and let them take charge. So when the day came, all we had to do was enjoy it.

And we did.

I got to have breakfast at Mickey’s Diner in St. Paul with my buddies. Then I went to get a scalp massage and quick style, my caterpillar eyebrows were trimmed, and then I had 3 hours to sit around waiting.

The wedding was wonderful. Fiance wrote the rough draft, and our last-minute change officiant took it and made it perfect. We included a smudging ritual, a hand wrapping, we all walked down the aisle to “Falling Slowly.” Her father, a pastor, gave us a lecture during the service about how we weren’t doing enough for Christ, but even that didn’t derail the fact I got to hold hands with my honey and look into her eyes for 30 minutes with friends and family watching. Then we did our first dance to “One and Only” by Adele. We’d practiced a few basic moves in the weeks prior, yet still managed to goof a bit here and there (It’s an incredibly slow beat!). 

We invited about 250, and 100 showed up. Some were surprises, like my college roommate who drove up from Chicago just for me. But most were friends of our parents, and not into dancing. About 10 altogether were not married. When the time came for garter and boquet tosses, the DJ made it clear for any supporters to get up and participate. Still only 4-5 people did. I danced alone for several songs, or tried to wrangle my 3 year old niece into dancing when I could peel her away from the tossed boquet she was having fun pulling apart.

Wife told me later how she came upon two of my mother’s friends in attendance as they were discussing how if they wouldn’t let their sons marry a woman they hated.

That one stung. Particularly after I had sent my mother a heartfelt letter explaining why we moved, why I love my fiance, and why I need her support. The only response so far is that she has always supported me and we’ll talk after the honeymoon.

On the plus side, my uncle and aunt (on dad’s side) came with their children. Things were touch and go there, since her father is doing very poorly. We heard they weren’t coming the day before, then on the day they called to say they would be able to make it. Wife and this aunt have a special bond born out of a common shunning by my mother, and are very close because of this. My cousins on that side were the only ones who came, and it was because of my wife. My wife opened my eyes to how my family had always been off with theirs. Ours was the only bridal shower they were invited to of three kids. I’m glad to have a new closeness with these family members because of how accepting and open my wife is.

People were leaving, and things died down at 10 p.m. enough for me to ask the DJ for one last song. We walked back to the St. Paul Hotel, and the next day, we were off to New York. More on that soon.

By the way, if you need photography services, you can’t go wrong with Bill Alkofer. He’s amazing.  The food was through True Tastes with Chef Jeff, another awesome dude.